We may not have encountered any new clones during this week's Orphan Black premiere, but one came back from the dead. That's not until later, though—let's start at the beginning, when Sarah is racing down a rainy street on a frantic hunt for Kira, who disappeared from Mrs. S's home in the closing moments of the season one finale.
Sarah stops at a greasy spoon, where she tries to reach Alison and Cosima. Their phones have been disconnected, but Sarah gets a call from Rachel, who says she can be painlessly reunited with Kira if she surrenders herself. As if she'd ever do that.
Before terms can be negotiated with Rachel, two squeaky-clean dudes walk into the diner asking for free-range eggs. Seriously, these guys look like they belong at a church basement social in backwoods Louisiana rather than a big city. In any case, they're not there for the all-day breakfast—they're there for Sarah. "We've come here to take you to Kira," one of the guys says.
The diner cook pulls a shotgun on the men, and they retaliate by putting a bullet in his head. As he's dying, the cook shoots one cowboy in the stomach, giving Sarah the chance to lock herself in a bathroom. The other dude—let's call him "pretty boy"—chases after her, but Sarah grabs a fire extinguisher and busts a hole through a concrete wall, escaping through a back alley as pretty boy tries to grab her feet. What an opening!
Sarah's next stop is the only logical place you'd go after your daughter gets kidnapped and you witness a shootout: a gay club. Felix is there, wearing ass-less leather pants. After explaining the latest crisis, Sarah gets a call from Paul (who's being closely watched by Daniel), and agrees to meet him alone. She then tosses her phone in a glass of water, since it's probably being tracked. RIP pink Nokia.
Back at Felix's loft, Delphine takes a sample of Cosima's blood to test for respiratory illness. And she also tries to convince Cosima that negotiating a position with the Dyad might not be so awful. Cosima doesn't give an answer, but insists her blood samples not go to Dyad. "I do my own research," she asserts.
Still wearing ass-less leather, Felix goes to Alison's house to borrow a gun. Alison says she knows a hard-working "gun enthusiast" named Ramon who can hook them up with an unregistered pistol. Donnie hears voices, and comes downstairs—looking very "sleepy Dad" in his underpants—to ask what's happening. Alison covers by saying she's rehearsing for her role in a community-theatre musical.
At the Dyad offices, Rachel is having an official-sounding phone call in German (how many languages do you think Rachel speaks? Three? Six? Ten?) when Sarah rings Paul to arrange a meeting. Soon after, Paul waits on an overpass and a skater dude hands him a cellphone. When Sarah calls, Paul delivers a message from Rachel: tomorrow morning, she'll be on a private plane with Kira, and Sarah can be with them or not. He also mentions that Rachel will be at the Dyad event that evening—and warns Sarah that Daniel is coming after her.
But Sarah's already one step ahead of Daniel. When he pulls his SUV into a nearby park, he thinks he sees Sarah. But obviously she wouldn't be so dense as to expose herself to a braindead suit! It's just a decoy Sarah (a skater girl with similar hair), who delivers a message to Rachel's henchman: "Up yours."
The real Sarah, meanwhile, borrows a phone from a kid on the bus (who asks to touch her boob—adorable!) and calls Cosima for a debrief. Cosima is considering going to the Dyad event, Sarah doesn't think she should. Sarah wants a gun, Cosima thinks that's a bad idea. We have to side with Sarah on this one.
In Scarborough, Alison meets Ramon the "gun enthusiast"—actually a barely-past-puberty Econo-mart stock boy—to pick out a weapon. He's got lots of options in his trunk, but she goes for the lady grip. (And passes on the painkillers.)
Back to the sexy geeks. At the loft, Cosima Skypes with Josh (her bucktoothed lab minion), and says she's shipping a new blood sample for analysis. At the same time, Delphine is at the Dyad having a tense meeting with Leekie, who warns her to "be careful playing for the other team." Delphine then gives Cosima's blood to Leekie—directly betraying her lover's wishes. Delphine may have Cosima's best interests at heart, but she seriously needs to get her allegiances straight.
Following Aynsley's unfortunate death-by-garburator (which was Alison's fault, but never mind the particulars), someone needs to fill the role of Sheila in Alison's musical. And who better for the part than Alison herself? She's going to be a shining star!
Art and Angie are outside the theatre, snooping on Alison, when Sarah walks up. She was coming for the gun, but instead gets shoved in the back of the police car and taken to the diner where she was attacked at the start of the episode.
Meanwhile, over at Dyad, Rachel informs Leekie she'll need his office that night to entertain "both" Koreas. And she also tells Paul she's taking him to Taiwan—presumably not for a fun, sexy vacay. Here we get some insight into Rachel's dynamic with Leekie, who seems just as confused about the kidnapping as we are. Leekie may be the Neolutionism poster boy, but Rachel definitively holds the power.
Outside the diner, Sarah confides in Art about Kira's kidnapping while Angie goes inside to scope out the case. However, "the feds" have taken over—or more likely, the Dyads—meaning Angie don't learn much. Reluctantly, Art they Sarah go.
Time for a powwow at the loft. After Ramon shows up to deliver the gun (tastefully wrapped in a bouquet of flowers, courtesy of Alison, who says hello via Skype), Cosima and Sarah brainstorm how to access Rachel during the Dyad event. The tricky part is getting around Daniel—but Sarah says she might know a way to distract him.
Sarah calls Daniel and tells him she'll meet him at 9pm, and will be driving a red minivan. Of course, Sarah is probably allergic to minivans, and is actually sending Daniel after Alison—who immediately squirts him with pepper spray and blasts her rape whistle in his face. Realizing they've got the wrong clone, Daniel lets Alison go.
Guess who makes a cameo at the Dyad event? Orphan Black creators John Fawcett and Graeme Manson (see below)! Bragging rights to whoever else spotted them.
Sarah's also there, pretending to be Cosima. When she gets trapped chatting to Leekie, she uses the opportunity to a) demand that Cosima get her own lab, and b) pickpocket Leekie's swipe card. Delphine is not so easily fooled—after one cold-fish kiss, she realizes "Cosima" is Sarah. And tells her where to find Rachel.
While Leekie makes a rousing (read: total BS) speech about all the magnificent (read: immoral) things the Dyad Institute is doing, Sarah makes her way to the tenth floor. Cold-as-ice Rachel is not surprised to see her, but when Sarah demands her daughter, Rachel explains that the Dyad doesn't actually have Kira—they just said they did to lure Sarah to the premises.
Sarah then pistol-whips Rachel in the face and holds the gun to her head. (Woohoo!) But before the fight can go any further, Paul intervenes. Sarah then also pistol-whips Paul in the face (which, admittedly, he deserves) and he lets her get away. At this point, we can't tell whose side Paul is really on anymore.
Sarah heads to Art's bachelor pad, where he confirms that Rachel didn't take Kira—it was the Proletheans, Helena's people. If you're anything like me, you've all been waiting for this moment since early in season one: when Sarah and Art finally start trusting each other, for real. Art pours Sarah a glass of whiskey, and asks her to tell her story.
Oh, and remember when Sarah killed Helena at the end of last season? Yeah, she didn't. In this episode's biggest holy-shit moment, Helena stumbles into the hospital, bloody but somehow still alive. Seriously, how is she still walking? Divine intervention?!
And following close on her heels is the pretty boy from the diner. Can't say we're happy to see him again.
But while Helena's return was this week's major surprise, the creepiest moment of the episode came at the very end, when we get a quick glimpse of Kira sitting on a hotel bed while an unseen man roughly brushes her hair. Get your hands off Kira, guy!
Questions & Observations:
We loved when Sarah busted a hole through the diner wall. Tatiana Maslany is a not a big person, but she exerts a lot of physical strength on this show. The clones are small but buff.
After handing over Cosima's blood, Delphine tells Leekie, "Congratulations, I'm invested. Which I'm sure is what you wanted." This helps explain why the other known monitors—Donnie and Paul—were also romantic partners to their subjects. Get them emotionally involved, and they'll be more committed to protecting their clones' wellbeing.
We dig Angie and her sourpuss ways. Can she do more fun stuff?
Obviously, a big question is the identity of the people in the photo Amelia gave to Sarah. Is the woman Mrs. S? And what, exactly, is Project LEDA?
We also want to know more about Rachel's backstory and how she got to be so James Bond. What was her childhood like?
Stats of the Week:
Number of bare bums so far this season: 1
Dead bodies so far this season: 2
Top British slang from this episode: "Silly tit"
Top Alisonism this episode: "What the Dickens?"
Number of clones Sarah has impersonated so far: 4 (Beth, Katja, Alison, Cosima)
Number of people Sarah smacks in the face with a gun this episode: 2
Click here to stream the season two premiere!